Slyth Hunt!
by Shila
Summary: Pure and utter Marauders madness, starting with Sirius' midnight mayhem and progressing to all-out warfare between the Slytherins and Gryffindors. Featuring Sirius' teddy bear and random prank devilry. Please, R-n-R.
1. Why We Don't Let Sirius Make Mad Plans

Slyth Hunt!

"Boredom does not begin to describe," Sirius sighed overdramatically, flopping back over the low couch of the Gryffindor common room and, by default, Remus's lap. Remus lifted his book out of the way, never once taking his eyes from the page, and rested its spine on Sirius's chest, seeming perfectly content to use him as a bookrest. James snorted from his seat on the floor where he was, once again, attempting to aid Peter with Transfigurations work. The werewolf whose lap Sirius Black had just decided to inhabit looked away from his book, glancing down at his friend with an amused glint in his hazel-gold eyes.  
  
"Perhaps you should do your Potions essay," Remus suggested smoothly, well prepared for the groan of disgust Sirius gave.  
  
"That's not a cure for boredom. That's something to stare at while I'm bored," Sirius whined, making a face and peeling himself out of Remus's lap.  
  
The werewolf settled his book down again, a wry smile curving his lips. "It's something to do while you're bored," he corrected.  
  
"Writing an essay is not doing something. It's letting my hand blather on while my mind keeps wandering and keeps being bored." Sirius had that dry note in his voice as he spoke, dark violet eyes dancing. He thought he was funny. James knew better, and glanced up at his best friend, flicking his quill at him and spattering his tanned face with ink.  
  
"You really shouldn't let your mind wander so much. It's much too small to be out on its own," James said loftily, smirking. Sirius growled and snatched the pillow from behind Remus, who sighed as though this happened every day (which, considering, it probably did), and flung it at James, who dodged, laughing. The pillow caught Peter in the chest, making him give a strangled "oof!" as the tassels of the pillow thwopped him in the nose. James laughed harder and was joined by Sirius and then Peter, who looked relatively uninjured and tolerant of being on the wrong end of Sirius's pillow. Remus just smiled and shook his head, making Sirius roll his eyes.  
  
James nudged Sirius in the leg, nodding at Remus, who had once more vanished into book-book land. Sirius grinned widely, and his tail would have wagged if he'd had it as James grabbed the pillow from Peter's slack grip and whipped it at Sirius. Sirius, well expecting this, caught it easily and spun it around to smack Remus full in the head with it.  
  
One small, scarred hand lifted, Remus's block easily stopping the pillow. His eyes remained on his book, chestnut strands of hair falling over his face, chin propped lazily on his other hand. Sirius dissolved into laughter once more, dropping the pillow. "How do you DO that!" he demanded, both amazed and entertained (as he'd always been) by his werewolf friend's smashing reflexes.  
  
James was chuckling, and Peter grinned, pushing dirty blonde hair out of his face and once more picking up his wand. It was their sixth year, and he would have liked to at least survived Transfigurations. Passing was a fond fantasy. James sensed his smaller friend's determination and turned back to him, hazel eyes sparkling as he once more picked up the book. Remus was already back in his book, oblivious, leaving Sirius to sigh and stand, pressing a hand to his forehead.  
  
"Alas, for I shall crumple and die out of pure, unadulterated boredom," he said fancifully. Then a grin split his face and he spun. "Jimmy! Jimmy jim jim jim jimmy jim jim..." he caroled, drawing a wary look from James, who, after more than ten years of association with Sirius Black, knew that look in his best friend's eyes -far- too well.  
  
"What do you want?" James inquired delicately, wand stilling in its path.  
  
"Can I borrow your cloak?" Sirius asked innocently, a stunningly angelic smile on his handsome face. He was the picture of pleading, those violet eyes perfect for puppy-style begging.  
  
Unfortunately for him, James was long immune to puppy eyes and merely lifted one black brow. "What for?" James wanted to know, looking somewhat like he had an idea of the answer and was already prepared to say no.  
  
"Why, to go Slytherin hunting, of course," Sirius said, smirk saying that it should have been perfectly obvious. "What else is there to do at midnight on a Tuesday?"  
  
"Your Potions essay," Remus, James, and Peter all said in unison, breaking into laughter at the anguished expression on Sirius's face.  
  
"Come ON, guys, you know what I mean. Nothing like wandering down long, dark corridors, invisble as can be, and sneaking up behind those slimy Slytherin gits and hexing them when they least expect it." Sirius was a drama queen, and all this was said in a tone of perfect righteousness, the grin on his face suggesting doom to any Slytherin who crossed his path.  
  
"Why should I let you borrow my cloak? Do you remember what happened LAST time I let you borrow something important of mine?" James asked, glowering up at Sirius.  
  
"That was an -accident-," Sirius protested, managing a hopeful smile. "And better I set the broom on fire than you, right?"  
  
"Right," James said dryly. "Better the broom than me. Go visible. And don't get caught, we've had enough points docked this term to put us behind Ravenclaw," he admonished.  
  
Sirius, however, was still not satisfied. "Aww, come on, Jimmy! I won't hurt it. I -swear-. I'll let you have collateral!"  
  
James eyed Sirius, considering this, then smiled evilly, an expression that looked equally at home on his face or Sirius's. "I want Thea."  
  
Violet eyes widened. "But-" Sirius said, having gone rather pale under the bronze of his tan.  
  
"No teddy bear, no invisibility cloak," James interrupted him sternly, staunchly ignoring the wild snickering of Peter next to him and the amused smile on Remus's face. Sirius's teddy bear had been an inhabitant of their dormitory since their first year; it was a ratty, furless old thing that Sirius used more as a pillow than anything else. It was also probably his most embarrassing secret, and James delighted in tormenting him about it. However, Thea was also one of Sirius's most prized possessions, and, with the bear as collateral, there was a virtual guarantee that no harm would come to his beloved cloak.  
  
Sirius swallowed, looking a tad gray, but nodded. "Alright," he agreed bravely, though there was a note in his voice that set Peter to snickering again. He tossed his small friend a glare before once more fixing James with his intent stare. "Let's go."  
  
With an apologetic look at Pete, James stood, wandering up the stairs toward the sixth year boy's dormitory. He was followed by Sirius, and soon the two were standing in their room, Sirius solemnly clutching the brown- and-gray mass that might once have been recognizable as a teddy bear.  
  
James eyed him evenly, gripping the silvery mass of fabric that was the Invisibility Cloak. "If you hurt this, we'll be burning Thea at the stake," he said warningly, reaching out and carefully prying the balding bear from Sirius's deathgrip.  
  
Sirius relinquished the bear after a moment, taking the cloak from James with all the dignity of a king being told his queen was held ransom. He swung the cloak around his shoulders, vanishing from the neck down as he put on an exaggerated face. "Fear not, for no harm shall come to your blankie while it is in my care," he said gravely, ignoring James's groan. A pillow was thrown at his head, the only visible part of him, but Sirius just dodged, laughing, and tugged the hood ov the cloak over his longer, dark hair, spinning toward the door, gleeful smile made invisible.  
  
James grumbled under his breath as he preceded his friend, and Sirius skipped merrily down the stairs and through the Common Room, waiting until the portrait was opened by someone coming in before slipping out and scampering down the corridor, Marauder's Map tucked securely into one pocket and his wand clamped in the other, wicked laughter made silent through sheer force of will.  
  
It was time for some mischief. 


	2. Pour Some Sugar On Me

A/N: Wow! I got... reviews! I was so surprised to see that y'all think I did such a good job of portraying the Marauders. I just model them after me and my three best friends and it all clicks (which, if you think about it, is creepy). So I guess I can do a continuation. This started out as a random lil plotline in which Sirius runs into an original character of mine (a boy, no sueage here), but I think I can make it a lil more Marauders- centric for all'a y'all. SO! Giving this story an actual PLOT! (And a note - I love Slytherins. I AM a Slytherin. . But it's funny as hells... so!)  
  
SUMMARY: The Dark Lord is on the rise, and one by one people lose hope as people and things are torn from them. It is dangerous to be a student at Hogwarts, but our Marauders are fearless, and are determined to spread chaos, mischief, and mayhem with all the enthusiasm of a basketful of puppies. Primary on this list is, of course, tormening those who support the Dark Lord... SLYTHERINS.  
  
WARNINGS: Language, sex, violence, occasional bit of homoeroticism. Nothing too dangerous, but probably warranting an R in rating. Sixth year, Marauder's era.  
  
Disclaimer: Anything ever referenced in a Harry Potter book is not mine. A few original characters in this, like the DADA teacher and a random student or two, -are- mine. Poaching is punishable by Dementation.  
  
LAST WEEK on SLYTH HUNT: Bored!Sirius goes forth under Invisibility Cloak to wreak havoc.  
  
Slyth Hunt!  
  
Chapter Two  
  
The hallway was dark, moonlight providing the only cessation from the encroaching shadows. Sirius was well-hidden beneath the Invisibility Cloak, padding along in his bare feet silently. The Marauder's Map was open and held under his nose, dark violet eyes straining to read it in the faint, silvery light.  
  
There were a handful of dots on it, but the one that caught Sirius' attention and held it was that of one Lucius Malfoy. A wide grin split Sirius Black's face as he noted that the footsteps denoted as being the Slytherin prig's were heading his way. Bad, bad Slytherin, Sirius thought. Shouldn't lurking out in the halls at night... Quickly, he dispelled the map and shoved it in a pocket, wand clutched and at the ready as he held still under the cloak, watching the end of the hallway.  
  
A bobbing light in the distance slowly drew nearer and nearer. It was the tip of Lucius' wand, glowing an eerie, yellow-green color and casting a freaky light upward at his face. Sirius snickered to himself, finding the hideous shadows cast by the angle of the Slytherin's wand quite amusing. Just as Malfoy passed him, completely oblivious, he whispered an incantation and flicked his wand at Malfoy.  
  
A large, gooey blob of something vaguely red-brown in color fell straight out of the ceiling and landed on Malfoy's slicked blonde hair, making the Slytherin howl in outrage as his wand clattered to the ground and he grabbed at his head, now liberally coated in what smelled far too like molasses for sanity's sake. Sirius was nearly doubled over with laughter, but he was backing away, watching as Malfoy squealed like a little girl about his robes and started yelling at Peeves.  
  
With a spin, Sirius darted down a side hallway, the cloak flapping about him as he crushed giggles. Finding and mounting the stairway to the Fat Lady's portrait, he stopped in front of it, still invisible, and knocked loudly on the frame. The woman awoke and spluttered, but Sirius remained invisible, and James came to open the door from inside. Sirius snuck inside, pulling the still-complaining portrait shut behind him before handing James his cloak. The expectant look on his friend's face, the one that said, 'you weren't out long' made Sirius double over and start laughing as hard as he could.  
  
James blinked and then cast a worried look in Remus' direction. The werewolf looked up from his game of chess with Peter, which he was obviously winning, and shrugged. By now, Sirius was rolling on the ground laughing his ass off. "Molasses," he wheezed, and that set him off again.  
  
"I take it he found a victim," Peter said lightly, snickering at the sight of Sirius giggling like a dolt on the floor. "Who was it, Padfoot?"  
  
James heaved Sirius to his feet and into a large chair. "Malfoy," Sirius said, finally getting control over himself again, though he was still grinning as though he'd just pulled the best prank in the world. "Oh, you shoulda seen his FACE!" he crowed. James burst into laughter and clapped Sirius on the shoulder, and Remus even chuckled at that.  
  
It was a long time before any of them regained their breath, the laughter of the four teenage boys echoing through the deserted common room. It was rather late, after all, and Remus pointed this out once Sirius had wiped the last tears of mirth from his eyes. Reluctantly, Sirius allowed himself to be herded to bed by James and Remus, both holding their mischevious friend at wand-point. Sirius was notorious for wanting to postpone his bedtime. Peter scampered up the stairs ahead of them, already in bed by the time a whining Sirius was forced into the room.  
  
"But it's still early yet," Sirius protested, fixing first Remus, then James with a pleading stare.  
  
James snorted and flicked Sirius in the nose with his wand. "Early my arse, you tosser, it's nearly two. Now go to sleep. Thea's waiting for you," he added mockingly, just to see Sirius yelp and dive into his bed in search of the teddy bear. Remus just rolled his eyes and got into his pyjamas, James following this lead, before climbing into bed themselves.  
  
It took a while (and a Bouncing Beeble jinx) before they were all settled in for the night, wands on night-stands, bed-drapes pulled closed. Peter's snores were echoing through the room by the time Sirius yawned a 'goodnight', and Remy was already too far gone. James answered with a toneless grunt, and then there was silence.  
  
le fin  
  
More random drabble. .''' Oh, well, I'm stirring up a plot for it! Does Malfoy figure out who it was? How much hell does he give them the next day in Potions? How much trouble will Sirius be in if he's found out? And just what does splattered molasses do to an Invisibility Cloak? Find out next time I get bored, with Slyth Hunt! 


End file.
